You guys still eff with the Epic Meal Time guys???………………………..I DO!! And this joint was funnnnnnyyyyy!
“Slice that bitch up…..get some salmonella (like a bawse)……….get some more salmonella (like a bawwwsseee)…….get drunk (like a sawwwsseee baawwwsseee)”
I laughed internally on a few of these. Especially
“Where is Ball Park village?” and “You paid $20?
and “You wanna go on the boat?” lol
So the newest sensation is that “Stuff *enter race here* people says* (Nesbitt posted the black people one on this very site). It’s all over the place and they’re oooooook. But THIS one had me rrrrrrOLLIN!!
i LOVE this!
“Catch me in that white house flexin’, I aint even stressin’ over re-election, find me & Michelle in that Oval Office sexin’, smokin’ Newports, raw dog no protection…”
MMG!! (Motorcade Music Group)
Sorry about the hiatus folks. I’ve been on this work life ish tryna get great(er). Floyd called me the other day and asked me how much do I get paid a year -________- . I hung up on his ass.
This reminded me of back when I was younger and Floyd would give me allowance every week. I was very thankful for it, considering all I was doing was taking out the trash. I would end up getting like $50 bucks a week and back then that was a lot! I wasn’t the kid to go out and blow it all real fast, I saved it until I knew it was something I ultimately wanted. Being a game freak it was pretty easy to get rid of $50 bucks quick. Each game was about $40-$50 so you do the math.
It was a long process saving up my funds because Floyd would always ask for the money he gave me right back. The crazy thing about this whole situation is that I never actually knew what he would do with the money he took from me. To make matters worse, he never actually gave me the money back. This fool would go out and buy me a damn video game in place of the money he f*cking took.
Not only would he go out and purchase a game, he would go to the “Greatest Hits” selection and cop the ones that were like $20-$35. This man was playing me for a damn fool! WTF DAWG? How in the hell does this actually work? I give you my hard earned money and you pay me back with a old weak ass used video game I already have???!
Floyd had been on that Stag and Salem shorts too long. So one day I had to ask him…
Me: How come when you take money from me you don’t give it back?
Him: BECAUSE! *old nigga answer*
Me: Because what?
Him: It all spends the same!
Me: Easy for you to say when you the one spending it for me
Him: THATS PAY BACK!
Me: 
Floyd has taught us all a valuable lesson here. When loaning niggas people money don’t expect that $hit back.
Young Swag Meter “Anytober (17 Delicious Sammiches) from Absolutism on Vimeo.
The game’s been stagnant for a while. The kids have no one to look up to. The music has no meaning anymore. No one cares about lyrical content, and artistry. Well, Young Swag Meter, is here to change all that. Check him out in the video to his debut single “Anytober (17 Delicious Sammiches)”
“I’m much more than a rap artist. I’m like a hip hop super hero. I’m here to change the game.” – Young Swag Meter
Twocka Twigga Flame makes an appearance. Bussin’ heads like lettuce killers… (.__. )
Last week Floyd wasn’t f*cking with charities this week Floyd is f*cking………Man man man! Never in my 23 yrs on this earth I would ever be talking about my dad and his sex life.Well, here goes nothing.
Two years ago around Halloween time I was very excited to dress up for some odd reason. I really stopped giving a f*ck about Halloween around the age of 11 when I got tired of being a damn ninja turtle every year and wearing ashy black denim during trick or treating because of the cold Halloween weather. I was kinda poor as a child growing up so I really never had the whole halloween get up like most kids. All I had was a damn machete. *shrug life*
Anywho this particular year I decided I was going to go as a pimp. I had the perfect Idea of how I wanted to look and where I was going to get my clothing from (Floyd’s Closet). I knew this was going to be good WAY before I even put the fit together. Hat? Check. Ugly button down? Check. Big ass slacks? CHECK. Suit jacket? check! *looks in the inside pocket of blazer* CONDOM CHECK! WTF! Damn! My nigga still out here boning these ho3s mane? I couldn’t believe it man. I mean it was the crumbiest condom I’ve ever seen in my life! There was no way I could talk about this with Floyd, so I completely left him out of this one. #FLOYDBEPROTECTED mane and he means business.
The crazy thing about this is I only see Floyd bust out a suit when he hits up a funeral or wake (he’s up there in age so all his work homies going left in right) but Floyd ain’t going out like that. He out here protecting himself with condoms in the inside pocket for ALL occasions.
Moral to this #FloydKnows…… STAY STRAPPED. NO MATTER HOW OLD YOUR D*CK IS.
Thanksgiving last year I found out that Floyd does not support charities. *sigh* What A damn shame. He’s the guy that talks $h*t about homeless people when they ask for change. I wouldn’t say Floyd is a mean person but when it comes to money and food he don’t mess around. So I told yall he doesn’t mess with charities right? Well, this is how I found out.
The homies over at Platinum Plus were throwing their annual ThanksGiving Day Bash. The Monarchs are full supporters of their events so we always make sure to attend. To get into the Bash all you have to do is make a small donation, or bring some canned goods. I chose to bring canned goods because we have HELLAZ of them and I just knew it wasn’t going to be a problem with sharing with those in need, but little did I know Floyd wasn’t having it.
Me: *looking through cabinet for goods*
Floyd: What are you doing?
Me: Looking for some good canned goods.
Floyd: For what?
Me: This charity event my friends are throwing.
Floyd: *Yells* CHARITY IS AT THE HOME!!
Me: -__________-
Twiggy: *snickering*
My Nephew: *walks away slowly*
Me: *slowly puts collected goods in a old ass Aldi’s Bag*
I really couldn’t believe he got so upset over a good cause, but $h*t I guess it wasn’t that good of a cause if his hard earned money was involved. After the fact I had to laugh at the explosive veins in his head neck as he yelled “CHARITY IS AT THE HOME!”. WTF charity is at the home? To most of the folks in this low income ass neighborhood they might think we were rich as much as Floyd goes to Sams Club.
Peep this, just yesterday my dude went to the Lumiere Casino and hit! How much? We don’t know but guess where he went first? …….Yep. F*CKING SAM’S!!!!
So, next time time a homeless person asks you for some spare change just yell “CHARITY IS AT THE HOME!”. Moral of the story is don’t ask Floyd for charitable donations.
Living at home could have its ups and downs man. Since I’m of age I get away with a lot of things like coming in late, having company after hours, and eating all the good $h*t. Downside is when it comes down to eating all the goodies Floyd don’t be knowing what’s good and what’s bad at times. Now every family has been through the food drought once or twice in their lives, what I mean by that is when your parents end up hitting up Aldi instead of Schnucks and you see a lot of off brand ish like Kurts Ketchup instead of Heinz or Mixade instead of Kool-Aid .
That ish is not always cool, but who am I to complain when I’m not the one buying the groceries? One day I thought to myself “I’m going to start buying my own food, ish that I like” little did I know I was in for a rude awakening by Floyd himself. Now when I said I went shopping for myself I really meant it. Ground turkey, soy milk, and WHEAT BREAD were my main items that are NEVER purchased by Floyd. That day when I came in the house with my groceries and Floyd saw me whip out that wheat bread, you would of thought I brought the devil into the kitchen.
Floyd: What the hell is that?
Me: Umm what?
Floyd: That $hit *points at brown bread*
Me: My groceries man *laughs*
Floyd: NO. That brown bread.
Me: Oh, wheat bread?
Floyd: Who eats that $hit?!? We don’t!!!
Me: ……………
Floyd: You betta eat that $h*t, Can’t believe you brought that in here like we be eating it.
Me: So you giving me a time limit on when to eat it?
Floyd: Just don’t be buying new $h*t and don’t eat it.
Me: *laughs* Man, you said brown bread.
DAMN! what did I do? Can a nigga eat healthy man? Floyd was so offended by me bringing in bread the same color as his skin! But he out here buying mixade? This man is ass backwards I see. But what can I say he’s super old school and I guess wheat bread wasn’t acceptable when he was coming up.
Moral to this Floyd Knows, I’m still trying to figure it out?
So this past friday I was the second shooter on a commercial shoot for Monsanto outside of Peoria IL. This was my first time doing commercial video work outside the city so I documented some of the trip using my phone’s camera lol. The morning started out with the crew (being me, the lead shooter Jon, and the A.C. David) meeting up at the Jon’s studio before heading out. While there I roamed around a bit and made my way to the rooftop and found some random stuff like a dancing cage from the days of gogo parties #random.
After roaming we packed up the gear and loaded the car and sped up the highway since we were a little behind on time. We stopped at Cracker Barrel for lunch on the way. I haven’t been to cracker barrel in sooooo long but when that waitress brought out that chicken tender sandwich i hit her with that…..
After driving through some dirt roads we got to our destination of Staunton, IL and began shooting. Mostly interviews and shots of students it was for Monsanto’s grant give aways for agricultural development for schools in rural areas. We were shooting pretty much all day and then also filmed parts of the football game where the check was being given. The folks from the school were nice enough to feed us bbq sandwiches and homemade cookies. Mannnnn those cookies tasted like Hopes and Dreams come true!
I don’t know if any of you guys have driven through small towns in the middle of the night but there are NO streetlights. Like you don’t realize how dark the dark is until you have no lights around but it’s mad stars out at night though. While driving back though we decided to go about 65mph on backroads with the windows down and heat blasting to see how long we could go. Mind you it was like 40 degrees outside so it was stupid windy in the car, i took some video and pics of the experience lol. #Sidebar Mountain Dew Throwback is that crack, it’s made with REAL sugar. 
OB_Trip_Return from MadeMonarchs on Vimeo.
