I have nothing to do with my life at the moment and when you don’t have anything to do with your life, do you know what you do?…………….you read.

I go on reading spurts. And the stuff that I read isn’t exactly what you’d find in a book club….But I’ll get there one day. For now, I’ll simply read what interests me. Even if that means books about black women and their problems, magical tales, and the hardships of celebrities before fame. But I realized that one of the top things that reach me the most just through words would be lyrics.

I LOVE music! Why not read about it? I’ve owned Jay-Z’s Decoded for HELLAS now and am just now getting my hands on it and going through the pages. I’ve been a follower of Jay-z the longest out of ANYONE in the industry. After freshening up my memory to the lyrics of his songs, it’s almost refreshing to find out the underlying tones to most of his lyrics. What you thought meant one thing, meant another.

I am far from being done with the book. But there are a few things that touched me through his music…

In Jay-Z’s “Public Service Announcement”, the lyric says:

“Hope you don’t think users are the only abusers. Niggas gettin high with the game”.

Jay-Z expands on this by saying:

You start getting addicted to the thrill of it….you represent something successful and free and dangerous, all at once…..You taste a strange kind of fame. It’s as addictive as the shit you’re selling, and just as deadly.

All the time I wonder why fools stay in the drug business when it has the most repetitive negative consequences ever. Not to mention, it’s got our people out here with loose ends. But just like an addict, even though you know those consequences, it doesn’t matter. The feeling at that moment amounts the most and wins over everything. Drug Dealers and Druggies live for the moment.

Oh! And in “99 Problems”, I never focused on how at the end of each verse, he uses the word “bitch” differently. For instance at the end of the second verse:

“We’ll see how smart you are when the K-9’s come/ I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”

K-9 unit………..CANINE unit…………..DOGS…………..BITCHES!!! DUH! How did I not get that?!

And Jay-Z’s “Can I Live”….

“My mind is infested with sick thoughts that circle”

Jay-Z explains:

…[it’s] about the interior of my mind….Before I learned the Law of Attraction I was aware of the power of my thoughts, staying focused, weeding out thoughts that sabotage.

The mind is crazy when you think about it. All of these thoughts are going haywire in this circle of a head, but yet you still have to pull out the correct choices in order to make corresponding decisions.

• St. Louis weather is so iffy. We might get a day that has “spring-like symptoms”. Jump at the opportunity on days like this and get your butt outside (but don’t let the weather fool you. Just because it feels like spring, doesn’t mean that it is. It’s about to be February like a mug. That’s a winter month. Bundle up foolie. Deteriorated health won’t enable you to work out). On sunny days, I go for bike rides. Bike rides are actually fun. You get to explore the city from a different view outside of a car. You won’t even realize you’re getting a workout (until you hit a big upwards hill). Try to stray away from bike trails. Those get boring in my opinion. Actually ride through the city. My mom and I rode from East Saint Louis all the way to the Delmar Loop and back once. It was about 18 miles altogether but it was one of the best experiences of my life.
• Get you a X-Box Kinnect or a Wii or something and either buy a dance game or an exercise game. When you think of it as playing a game instead of exercising, you sike yourself out. It works better.
• Find training workouts that you can do in your living room in front of the TV. Here’s the one I use:
• 
• Invest in some weights. The best kind is Kettlebells. Those joints work AND when you buy them, they come with a little book of different weight exercises.
• If you have any type of exercise equipment in your house (treadmill, elliptical, bike), find stuff to do while using them. Luckily, we have a TV in the room our exercise equipment is in. If you do as well, pick workout times where your favorite shows come on or pop in a movie. Other than that, I will either think of blog post while I’m running. I’ll make a playlist of songs on my iTouch that I actually know all the words to and that way I can sing/rap through the whole playlist while I’m working out. I’ll also come up with a workout on top of a workout. For example, if I’m running on the treadmill, I will run with weights in both hands. I also have this HUGE jug that I drink my water out of. I will hold it when it’s filled to the top since it’s heavier and run with it, switching hands every 2 minutes.
• I read somewhere that doing about 80 minutes of aerobic activity per week helps burn fat. So if you have Netflix or either internet access, pull up some aerobic exercise videos, such as Zumba, Yoga, or Kickboxing and do the entire routine in front of your computer 2-3 times a week sporadically.
• I thought about buying a dog just so I can walk/run that mug. If you have one, you are lucky! Take advantage of your canine friend.
• If you have stairs in your house, make up mini games. Either you can do that playlist thing I talked about earlier. Set a number of songs that you know all the words to and run up and down the stairs until you finish all of the songs. OR you can rearrange small objects in your house between downstairs and upstairs. All of the downstairs items move upstairs and vice versa. Then go back and move all items back to its place one at a time. That way you’re going back and forth up and down the stairs in a repetitive motion.
• Hit the weights while watching your favorite shows. I am a primetime television watcher. So I’ll mess around with my Kettlebells while I’m watching The Biggest Loser or Chopped on Food Network.

“Slice that bitch up…..get some salmonella (like a bawse)……….get some more salmonella (like a bawwwsseee)…….get drunk (like a sawwwsseee baawwwsseee)”

Oh did I mention he shoots his own videos, does graphics, raps (he can actually rap) NETWORK, work ETC…. Like I said please take notes.

Check out #TheStu info

Of course I'm all about my nails. Little did I know that if you scrub toothpaste on your nails, it can remove stains and also add a little shine. (Sidenote: it was also stated to add drops of lemon juice to your nails as a whitener)If you're rough like me and constantly mess up your stockings/tights, cut out the footies, throw them joints over your arms, and add some more random snags, holes, and runs as a fashion accessory elsewhere on your body.A lot of times, I cannot find the twin to my earring sets (which is why you see me in mismatched earrings a lot). Use buttons to keep your earrings together. (Place earring through each hole on one button)

If you're rough like me and constantly mess up your stockings/tights, cut out the footies, throw them joints over your arms, and add some more random snags, holes, and runs as a fashion accessory elsewhere on your body.

A lot of times, I cannot find the twin to my earring sets (which is why you see me in mismatched earrings a lot). Use buttons to keep your earrings together. (Place earring through each hole on one button)

View the rest of the list HERE.

I’ve been down and out. No job, had a car accident, no insurance, have to pay thousands of dollars for my own and someone elses. . .etc that list goes on.

but I see my only way to succeed is to keep pushing for a position relentlessly at places I would like to work and also places I rather not.

The constant pushing gets me lots of interviews and random opportunities (Some have given me paid travel experiences). But Yet No job offers. . .UNTIL NOW!

I just recently worked the St. Louis Auto Show which was a position gained through a staffing agency in Chicago. I thought that was really fun because not many people can say that they represented a car company at an event like that.

Well the new happenings continue: just this week brings me to the bible verse at the top of this post. I am on my last leg financially, and damn near physically. But I’ve been offered a position as

- a Lead Generation Specialist in Chicago,

- a Clerical Assistant for the City of St. Louis,

- and also offered another interview from the Agency that flew me to California 4 months ago (this time to work with Mini cooper).

All of these are full time and the last one is a high salary position. I’m floored by the options that just come up from no where. My stomach is still turning from all these ups and downs.

I’ve been rejected so many times that I’m not jumping in excitement as I usually do at big opportunities. I”m just quiet, low and moving. I’m just going to go with the flow and see where it takes me.

I’m going to Chicago now, and plan on being there in that position for a while. But I’m also not going to close the window on the other option in California. Either way MM has a lot spreading out that’s taking place.

#YouGottaPray

Regardless if you’re 18, 21, 25, 30, 40, or up to 80, there is always that specific point of time in your life when you realize that it’s time for something different. This could range from anything: to a new style, new relationship, new location, new healthy lifestyle, new hair, new hobbies….all that ish! And I am POSITIVE that I have reached that point right now in my life.

One evening, while at an event (and mind you!…this is an event that I am used to going to and usually have a decent time at)….ANYwhoooooo, while at this event, I found myself standing in the back of the room alone, looking around at everyone with an obviously confused face. Sorta like this:

…I was chill though….and not necessarily confused, but right at that moment I realized that I am too old for this ish, I no longer fit in, and it’s time for a new. It was like a whole life-changing moment at one of the most inconvenient times of my life!….but I guess sometimes that is what it takes.

Dawg…..I used to hate change. I don’t even know if it’s necessarily a “hate” for it, but change can be so scary. After all, you never know what type of change it will be; It can be happy change, moderate change, comfortable change, horrible change, or even unnecessary change. At that event, I realized that I need a little bit of it all. I need NECESSARY change which may take a MODERATE time to take in effect. It may have HORRIBLE consequences. But if it all turns out right, I may end up being HAPPY and I will have finally found my COMFORT zone for the point I am at now. I NEED that right now. New things intrigue me, focused passions are motivating me, and what used to make me happy doesn’t make me as happy as it did before. I need to find the rest of the components of this “new me” that I feel taking over. I need to initiate this change.

Ay dawg……..don’t be surprised when you see me posting pictures of my new place in San Francisco. I’m willing to make small changes by making BIG moves.